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Friday, 03 July 2009

How to Discipine Kids Without Spanking Them

How to discipline kids
Does your child's behaviour cause you some heartache? Are you wondering how to discipline your kids to turn around child behaviour problems? Don't worry, you are not alone! Many parents have concerns about how to discipline kids.
Let us look at what discipline for kids is all about. Child discipline is not about punishing kids. To discipline kids is to train them to become self disciplined themselves. Child discipline teaches kids how to be responsibility. Child discipline is training your kids to grow into adults who take responsibility for their actions and are respected by others.

How to discipline kids: here are some tips to get you started.

Discipline starts when kids are still at the baby stage.

It is preferable to start child discipline as early as possible. Don't wait too long before teaching your kids appropriate behaviour. Disciplining kids should start when they are babies. It will not be too long before you notice how a young baby looks for your reaction when the baby deliberately throws a toy or drops something. Your response to this reaction will start to set the scene for whether the baby learns to get your reaction with positive or negative behaviour.

So when you see this type of behaviour happening with your baby speak to your baby firmly "No no" and shake your head. Every time the baby repeats the behaviour repeat your response. Your baby will learn that your reaction to the toy being dropped or deliberately thrown does not earn your smile and approval. When a parent responds positively to the toy being deliberately thrown or dropped, it encourages the baby to repeat the action to get more attention.

Use Consequences with Child Discipline

When kids do not do as they're told or overstep previously given limits or boundaries they should be given consequences of those actions. For the consequences to be effective, kids need to understand ahead of time what the consequences of overstepping those limits or disobeying would be. When implementing any consequences it is important to explain clearly why the consequence is being given. Consequences are an effective way of disciplining kids, especially when the parent keeps calm and explains firmly why the consequences are being implemented.
Parents should avoid shouting when discipling their kids. When parents frequently raise their voice when addressing child behaviour problems, kids quickly learn to either ignore the parent or increase their decibels.

As soon as your kids are old enough to understand you and able to do what you ask start training them with the use of choices. When a parent gives choices child learns to have more control over the life and can start to develop self-discipline. For example if your kid has a chore to do and wants to watch their favourite TV program a parent could suggest that by doing their chore straightaway they would then be able to watch the TV program. By choosing to get the chore done kids chooses to be able to watch the TV program.

When disciplining kids, the important thing to bear in mind is to be consistent in following through with the consequences decided upon in your discipline method. All discipline needs to be seen by your children as fair, consistent and impartial. When parents do this, they earn the respect from their children.

When considering how to discipline your kids, always remember implement discipline as teaching and training your kids and not as punishment. . Child discipline needs to be always approached in love and done for the best interests of the child.

Monday, 15 June 2009

Effective Child Discipline is Consistent Child Discipline

Parents often feel that it's much easier just to let the child get away with bad behaviour rather than fighting a battle which they may lose trying to implement child discipline. It can be difficult to follow through with child discipline because of the inevitable scene children can make - screaming and yelling, pleading and crying trying to get parents to change their mind.. However if your child responds in this way, it makes it even more essential that you do follow through with your child discipline strategy, or your child will not learn what is the right way to behave. However, there should not be any exceptions in child discipline for unacceptable behaviour, and consequences should not be negotiable..

Before any instances of child behaviour problems occur, parents should have already talked with their children, defining what unacceptable child behaviour looks like, and explaining the consequences for that behaviour. It is important that children understand what action that parents will take with child behaviour problems.It should be straightforward to implement child discipline, because the consequences have been clearly explained previously.

Parents need to understand that it is normal for all children to test their limits and boundaries . When these limits are tested it is very important to be firm and fair in following through with the consequence that was discussed and not allowing children to sway you from implementing your child discipline consequence. Do check that your method of child discipline is fair and reasonable according to your child's age and maturity, It is advisable , as parents, to review your child discipline methods as your child grows older and adapt them where neccessary.
Consistency is crucial with child discipline. Therefore anyone caring for the child needs to follow through on the predetermined consequences for bad child behaviour consistently.

Friday, 05 June 2009

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How to Parent Child Behaviour Issues

Some parents hesitate to set strict rules about child behaviour because they feel it will damage their relationship with their children.However this is not reality. Children may complain and become upset when a parent enforces rules about child behaviour, however they really know that this shows the parents love them and are concerned for their well being. By setting parameters to ensure acceptable child behaviour and then enforcing those parameters, will cause a child to feel loved and feel safe.

Developing and introducing rules for expected child behaviour is not easy. Many parents would rather not set rules and expectations for child behaviour, in order to avoid the confrontation and uncomfortable scenes that happen when it comes to enforcing them. Confrontation is not a reflection of the parent child relationship. Unfortunately breaking rules and pushing limits in terms of child behaviour is a normal part of growing up.

It would be far nicer just to be the child's friend, but as a parent this is not possible all the time. It is important to set rules for acceptable child behaviour. It is important for parents to nurture, protect and provide for their children in every area. When faced with an incident of unacceptable child behaviour, it is easy for a parent to overreact, and harshly and disproportionately punish the child. This approach, however, is self defeating as it undermines the effectiveness of setting rules and expectations for child behaviour.

It is more effective to approach dealing with child behaviour problems in a similar way to this method. When you are about to talk with your children about a new rule and their expected behaviour, discuss with them the consequences of breaking the rule, what will the punishment be and how will it be carried out. Consequences must go hand-in-hand with child behaviour boundaries set so that your child knows what the cost of stepping over those boundaries will be. Consequences need to be reasonable and be a logical response to the unacceptable behaviour. Then be sure that when that unacceptable behaviour occurs that the consequences are those which you have already discussed previously with the child.

It is understandable for a parent to feel angry when a child defiantly breaks a rule. It actually can be a powerful motivating factor to the child when a parent shares feelings of sadness, disappointment or anger with the child. Because of that, it is important that parents give themselves a timeout to cool off as it is easy to issue empty threats or say things that are not really intended when a person is upset. It is critical that the rules concerning child behaviour are extremely clear to the child, and that the parent is consistent in following through with the consequences. When following through after a rule has been violated it is important that your child understands why they are receiving the disciplinary action.

After a parent has enforced the consequences, it is then important to take the opportunity to reaffirm the expectations of child behaviour, and that the child is still loved as a person, and it is their choice of behavior that is being addressed.

If you have challenges with child behaviour problems I highly recommend you check out this program
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